December is half over already and I really have no clue where the first half of it went.
I’ve been exhausted lately and it’s not easy taking care of Dad when I feel like I can’t take another step (no kidding – it’s that bad!).
I can barely get my booty out of bed in the morning and have to take frequent breaks to rest throughout the day.
I’m also not eating right because I don’t have the energy to cook for myself.
I cook for Dad but by the time I finish his stuff I have no energy left to make my own. I’ve been living on protein shakes and anything I’m not allergic to that doesn’t take a lot of energy to make (that doesn’t leave a lot of options!).
Even with not eating much… I’ve gained 14 pounds 😧
Exhaustion – A Familiar Feeling
The exhaustion has been getting worse for the past several months but I initially thought it was from the surgery I had (in August).
I tried to ride-the-tide until it passed… but it never passed.
These up’s-n-down’s are a familiar thing for me but this extreme fatigue / exhaustion hasn’t happened for many years.
The exhaustion happens so gradually that I don’t realize it and then… KABLAMMO… I’m rendered as useless as a wet noodle.
I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis (an auto-immune condition) and Hypothyroidism. These 2 conditions often go hand-in-hand and exhaustion and weight-gain are just part of the deal (along with several other symptoms I’m experiencing).
The Results Are In
I was 99% sure I knew what the problem was but, in order to get relief, I needed to see the doctor.
A quick blood test showed my thyroid was way out of whack. This time it wasn’t off just a little… it was significantly out of the normal range.
The Doctor increased my thyroid medication and now I wait. It not an overnight fix. – it takes about 6 to 8 weeks… and that’s IF the dosage is right AND my thyroid cooperates.
But I’m hoping for the best and that it resolves itself quickly!
The Stress Of Life
Stress affects everyone and has many effects on the body. As for me, stress can seriously throw my auto-immune condition into a major tizzy.
I admit I’ve been stressed to begin with. It’s not easy being a Caregiver and there’s been some added stress lately.
Gallbladder Surgery Stress
In my unprofessional opinion, the stress of surgery probably pushed everything over the edge… it was the straw that broke the camel’s back… it was where I reached the point of no return.
Surgery is both a physical and mental stressor.
I felt (mostly) mentally prepared but I had no control over the physical stress of being sliced and diced.
The surgery should have been a simple laparoscopic gallbladder removal but, in order to get to my gallbladder, the Surgeon had to peel my hernia mesh off of my innards because the mesh adhered to things it shouldn’t have.
The extra incisions and pulling-n-prodding surely put additional stress on my body.
Caregiving is stressful no matter how you look at it.
A few months ago Dad took a turn for the worse. This was around the same time I was having my gallbladder surgery.
Since then, Dad’s bad days outnumber his good days.
I realize it’s not easy for Dad… but it’s also not easy for me.
I do my best to de-stress but sometimes life just doesn’t work that way.
Sometimes life doesn’t allow us to take a detour. Sometimes, to reach our destination, life requires us to travel through the experience rather than go around it.
The only other option is to allow the experience to consume us. While I may briefly fall prey to this notion, I’m not one to give up easily.
For now, I’ll simply do my best as I travel through this experience knowing full-well… this too, shall pass.
About The Photos In This Post
Top Photo: I took this picture a couple weeks ago on my way to Freeport to run errands. The sunrise is so peaceful. It’s my favorite time of day so I took a detour down a side road to stop and enjoy the moment.
Quote Photo: The background of the quote photo was taken a few summers ago when I was hanging out on the Oregon coast. You can see more photos on my Meyers Creek Oregon post or check out all my Oregon posts.